If there's one thing we know, it's hot women. No greater confluence of experts on pulchritude exists anywhere else on Earth. So when the time came to rank the 99 hottest fictional women of 2012, we were ready. Our loins are girded, our wills are steeled. Let's do this thing.
AskMen.com launched their Top 99 Women 2012 Edition, so at UGO we decided to create a companion list of fictional women that are rocking 2012; we pulled together the hottest women from comic books, TV shows, movies and video games into a list showing off the year's Hottest Fictional Women of 2012.
One of the best things about being at UGO is that we get to spend every waking hour plugged into pop culture. So, as you might expect, we often get engaged in very heated discussions. Those discussions can grow into obsessions, and that's how this list got started. We were considering the extensive world of fictional women in the year 2012, and which of them were the hottest. Eighteen days later, we had this list of 99 of them. We're still arguing about placement, so let us know in the comments whether somebody is too high or too low. Or both!
99 | Syrena |
The incredible longevity of the Pirates of the Caribbean film series is something to behold - who would have ever thought that Disney could squeeze four movies out of an amusement park ride? We weren't too sold on On Stranger Tides last year - it was a little too over the top and incoherent - but there was one very pleasant surprise. We're talking about the mermaid Syrena, as played by Spanish actress Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey. While we never thought we'd crush on a girl without legs, things improved halfway through the flick when she assumed human form and we felt a little less perverted.
98 | Susan Farley |
You can accomplish just about anything for the love of a woman. Joseph Capelli, the protagonist of Resistance 3, needs to survive his mission to end the Chimera's threat to Earth so he can get back to his wife. Susan Farley is one of the most well-rounded supporting characters in recent video game history - she seems totally real, giving you even more incentive to get the job done. It's not common that a game gets you that emotionally invested in non-player characters.
97 | Skyler White |
Breaking Bad ended its fourth season explosively (no pun intended there), continuing to be one of the very best shows on TV. One of the major contributors is the character of Skyler White, Walt's long-suffering spouse. When the financial aspects of Walt's drug manufacturing business become too much to handle, she buys the car wash he formerly worked at and joins him in his life of crime. Now that's the kind of lady you want backing you up. Of course, things don't work out so well (they never do), but whatever.
96 | Erin Hannon |
There may still be some Pam stalwarts out there, but let's face it: girl's had a kid and has another on the way, she's preciptously dropping from the hot lists. The new scorcher in the Office office is Erin Hannon, played by the lovely Ellie Kemper. Since being brought in as a temporary receptionist, Erin has won all of our hearts with her relentlessly bubbly attitude. As a part of "Subtle Sexuality," the girl group with Kelly Kapoor, she dressed in ridiculous costumes and crooned insane lyrics. She's the one Dunder Mifflin - oops, I mean "Sabre" - employee we wouldn't mind taking a coffee break with.
95 | Olivia Dunham |
I don't think things are going to work out very well for Olivia Dunham, one of the leads on Fringe. The most mind-bending show on Fox has run her through the wringer over the last four seasons, from the revelation that she was experimented on as a child with the drug Cortexiphan to her alternate-dimension doppleganger taking her place. Buzz from the show's press machine indicates that things are going to get worse, not better, for Olivia in 2012. That's a shame. Why don't you leave all this creepy science behind and come over to the UGO offices for a drink.
94 | Margaret Schroeder |
Hooking up with Nucky Thompson is a good way to improve your position in life, but don't call Margaret Schroeder a gold-digger. The young Irish immigrant played by Kelly MacDonald on Boardwalk Empire originally met with the Atlantic City mover and shaker to help her baker husband find work, but things quickly went the way they do when a man and a woman want to do some business. She proves to be an intelligent and astute foil for Thompson, and we can't wait to see how her story plays out.
93 | Starfire |
The alien princess Koriand'r, typically referred to by her crime-fighting nom de guerre Starfire, had a bit of an interesting 2011. With the New 52 reboot sweeping across the DC line, the former Teen Titan underwent some pretty drastic changes. Previously she was a total hottie befuddled by human relationships, but now she's a predatory sexpot who bangs dudes for simple physical gratification because that's just the way she's wired. Sure, some people are upset, but it's important for girls to be open about that stuff. You can see her every month in Red Hood And The Outlaws. Usually wearing less clothes than this.
92 | Technical Sergeant Elena Santos |
If you've made it this far in the list, you've probably figured out that we like a girl who can kick some ass. In last year's Battle: Los Angeles, we met one of our biggest military heartthrobs in the form of Technical Sergeant Elena Santos. Played by Michelle Rodriguez, the TSgt. is one of a ragtag team of fighting men and women defending the City of Angels against an alien invasion spread by meteorites. This girl knows how to handle heavy weaponry, and she blitzes alien scum with the best of them. There's rumors that a sequel might be in the offing, so we maybe haven't seen the last of Santos.
91 | Princess Leia |
Sure, many of the hot ladies on this list are from the hottest properties in the nerdiverse, but we've always got respect for the classics. Carrie Fisher's role as Princess Leia in the original Star Wars trilogy is one of the paragons of the foxy UGO chick. From her buttoned-down heroism in the first movie (with her boobs flattened by gaffer's tape) to her notorious appearance as a slave in Jabba the Hutt's pleasure palace, Leia has always burned in our hearts with an eternal flame. Sorry, Padme, you just don't measure up.
90 | Judge Anderson |
We've completely eradicated all memory of the horrible 90s Judge Dredd movie from our brains in preparation for the awesome-looking Dredd, which hits theaters this year. Accompanying the greatest lawman that Mega-City One has ever seen on his rounds will be a new trainee, Judge Anderson. Played by Olivia Thirlby, Anderson is a psychic police officer who uses her mental abilities to bust crooks, and she often comes into conflict with the Dark Judges, a group of psychos from another dimension who want to eradicate all life on Earth.
89 | Lois Griffin |
Probably the hottest animated MILF on the boob tube today, Family Guy's Lois Griffin wins a place on this list and in our hearts. The flame-haired mother of three has managed to keep quite a nice figure despite the myriad slings and arrows life (and Stewie) throws her way. But she's not all sweetness and light - in some episodes she's struggled with a gambling addiction, and who can forget the one where she got a modeling job and battled with bulimia? But the real reason she's on this list is her enduring marriage to awful fat schlub Peter - if he can get a girl like this, there's hope for us too.
88 | Cortana |
Who ever thought we'd fall for an artificial intelligence, an unreal melange of bits and pixels? And yet, here we are with Cortana. One of the pillars of the Halo series, Cortana's personality was spawned from the neural recordings of Dr. Catherine Elizabeth Halsey, the mastermind behind the SPARTAN project. Her programming allows her to learn and grow naturally, and she's always expanding her field of knowledge. Of course, since she's just a holographic projection making out is less than satisfying, but you can't have everything.
87 | Mary Todd Lincoln |
Yes, we know that Mary Todd Lincoln was a real person. But the version of the First Lady portrayed in the upcoming Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter diverges pretty wildly from our reality, so she counts. Played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Mary Todd is Abe's right-hand woman in his lifelong quest to rind the Earth of the bloodsuckers. Abe not only took the fight to the vamps during the Civil War, much of his best legislation was designed with his battle in mind. And behind every good man - and every good President - is a good woman, after all. Let's see Michelle Obama stake somebody.
86 | Morrigan Aensland |
The best thing about Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 is that it brought Darkstalkers favorite Morrigan into full 3D. We love our dudes at Capcom, but they've been recycling her original sprite for something like fifty games. Her new model perfectly captures all of the succubus sluttiness we've come to love, and with the recent improvements in Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom 3, fighting game aficionados are proclaiming her one of the game's most improved characters. Oh, and she can split herself into two girls, which means extra dirty funtimes.
85 | EVA |
Will the saga of the Snakes never end? Hideo Kojima's Metal Gear Solid quadrilogy (plus associated spin-offs) shows no sign of slowing down, which is good, because we love it. The series has introduced many femmes fatale into the mix, but for our money the most alluring is Tatyana, the Russian spy who operated under the code-name EVA. Her life was eventful and bizarre, going from a small town in Ohio to the heart of the Kremlin, but her biggest part in the story came during Operation Snake Eater, where she helped the original Snake against the Russians. In an ironic twist, she then became the surrogate mother for both Solid and Liquid Snake.
84 | Elise Riggs |
We are psyched that 2012 is bringing us a new SSX game. This is the one extreme sports franchise that has always delivered, and the developers behind the latest installment seem to really understand the combination of breakneck speed and outrageous tricks that fuel the fun. And, of course, they're bringing back fan favorite character Elise Riggs, the blonde Canadian snowboarder with the can-do attitude. Her newest obsession is base jumping with a wingsuit, and we're betting that'll make its way into the game as well.
83 | Storm |
One of the most powerful and respected of the X-Men, Storm is looking pretty great in 2012. Ororo Munroe has gone through a lot of crap in her superheroic career, including dying and being stripped of her powers, but that's just what you get when you sign on with Charles Xavier and his merry crew of mutants. Last year, she joined the Avengers along with Wolverine and started a temporary separation from her husband Prince T'Challa - aka the Black Panther. Can she juggle being both an Avenger and an X-Man, especially when the two groups are starting a massive crossover fight?
82 | Chun-Li |
Known as the "first lady of fighting games," Chun-Li has been one of Capcom's most notable characters for decades. After making her debut in Street Fighter II, the thunder-thighed Chinese warrior woman has been doling out the punishing kicks to all comers. Her most recent appearance was in Marvel Vs. Capcom 3, where she was unfortunately low tier, but her upcoming return in Street Fighter X Tekken might return her to the top of the fighting pyramid. There are plenty of other hotties in that game that she needs to put in their places.
81 | Fiona Glennane |
Who would have ever thought that USA would start making awesome shows? The network previously known for Silk Stalkings has reinvented itself as a home for witty, fast-moving shows. One of the first wave was Burn Notice, the tale of a spy left out in the cold - but in Miami, so not too cold. The show's best supporting character is Fiona Glennane, played by the lissome Gabrielle Anwar. A former IRA agent turned spook, Fiona recently moved in with protagonist Michael Westen, but their relationship is still up in the air.
80 | Agent O |
We're psyched that the Men In Black franchise is on its way back after a very long wait. And even better, the crew is hanging out with a hot new female partner, Agent O. In the present day, she's played by Emma Thompson, but for our money the real hotness is going to come in Men In Black 3's time travel sequences, where we meet a younger version played by the very toothsome Alice Eve. Rumors from the leaked script indicate that O might be taking over from Zed as the leader of the whole project, which would be interesting.
79 | Morgana |
England has been bringing us tons of awesome TV series over the last few years, and Merlin is one of our favorites. The fantasy-adventure series follows the titular wizard as he tries to keep Prince Arthur safe so he can meet his destiny as king of England. The show's other magic user is Morgana, the ward of King Uther, and she's not really on the good side. Because magic is outlawed, she develops her mastery of the dark arts in secret. Working with her sister, the sorceress Morgause, she brings all kinds of hell to Camelot.
78 | Dr. Temperance Brennan |
Smart girls are hot. This is a fact that cannot be denied by any force on Earth. One of our favorite cerebral hotties on TV is forensic anthropologist Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan on Fox's Bones. The hard-thinking woman of science has a little touch of the Asperger's about her, which is like catnip for nerds. She's incredibly focused on her work and has a hilarious ignorance of pop culture trends - basically the complete opposite of us. And she's just as cute as a Goddamned button as well.
77 | Emily Thorne |
ABC's Revenge has become one of the guiltiest pleasures of the 2011 TV season. Loosely based on the classic novel The Count Of Monte Cristo, it tells the tale of sultry young Emily Thorne (played by the luscious Emily VanCamp) as she returns to the Hamptons to get back at the people who framed her father for a crime he didn't commit. Emily is gorgeous and amoral - two of our favorite qualities in a woman - and there's nothing she won't do to twist the knife in her enemies.
76 | Ellie Langford |
When you're marooned on a space station fighting for your life against hordes of hideous Necromorphs, any woman will look good. Thankfully, Dead Space 2's Ellie Langford has both looks and survivability. The CEC heavy equipment pilot works to help Isaac Clarke get through waves of mutated creatures and stays stoic even when she gets stabbed in the eyeball. How many other girls on this list can say that? Not that we want to test them in that kind of way. That would be wrong.
75 | Jill Roberts |
The Scream series has always loved to give us unpredictable killers, and the recent fourth installment definitely delivered. Hey, we're going to spoil the entire movie for you right here, so don't get mad: Sidney Prescott's cousin Jill is the killer. Along with movie geek Charlie, she dons the Ghostface mask and cuts her way through her high school class on the hunt for fame and fortune, intending to position herself as the "sole survivor" and do the talk show circuit. Pretty smart, lady.
74 | Madame Simza Heron |
When you've got an intellect as prodiguous as Sherlock Holmes, you're bound to attract the honeys. In last year's Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows, the notorious detective met his match in the personage of Madame Simza Heron, a gypsy fortune-teller who is being targeted by his arch-enemy, the deadly Professor Moriarity. Madame Heron (played by the lissome Noomi Rapace) is more than a damsel in distress, as she's quite handy with a throwing knife and holds her own in a fight.
73 | Dr. Emma Kurtzman |
It was a little weird that two movies about casual sex came out in one year, but we're not complaining. Especially when the female lead was as lovely as Dr. Emma Kurtzman, played by the fetching Natalie Portman in No Strings Attached. The Los Angeles doctor is completing her residency at a major hospital when she hooks up with a childhood friend and starts a booty call relationship. The movie's totally hot sex scenes made last year one of Portman's smokiest ever.
72 | Jane Carter |
We had some nervousness about Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, but Brad Bird pulled through in the end with a rip-snorting spy caper that might be the best in the series. Tom Cruise's Ethan Hunt finally also got a female partner who could keep up with him in Jane Carter, played by the foxy Paula Patton. Carter gives as good as she gets in the movie's many action sequences, and she's a female super-spy worthy of the franchise. Hell, she's good enough we could see spinning her off into her own movie. Anybody who can throw a broad out of a window that well has star written all over her.
71 | Lynn Childers |
Last year's Machine Gun Preacher was an unexpected surprise - a biopic about a dude in a very bizarre situation indeed. Sam Childers was a real dude who transformed from a drug-addicted biker to a missionary in the Sudan, traveling to one of the scariest countries on Earth to help war orphans. As Lynn Childers, Sam's ex-stripper wife, the lovely Michelle Monaghan perfectly captures a woman on the lip of redemption, elevating herself from her dismal Michigan scumbag existence to something more ambitious. It's not a big part, but it's a good one.
70 | Snow White |
Snow White And The Huntsman is looking like a high-octane take on the classic fairy tale, with the Wicked Queen not just looking to kill Snow White, but also eat her heart. But this is no Disney princess who can't defend herself - as played by Kristen Stewart, Snow White learns the arts of war and recruits a posse of dwarves to take the fight right back to her mother. Sure, it's not quite how we remember it from the books, but it looks awesome and Ms. White is ready to whip some serious ass.
69 | Phaedra |
Immortals was a crazy mess, true, but it was at least a crazy mess that was awesome to look at. One reason for that was the presence of the gorgeous oracle Phaedra, as portrayed by Frieda Pinto. The virginal oracle is kidnapped by the villainous Hyperion in hopes that she will lead her to the mythical Epirus Bow. Rescued by Theseus, she joins the hero on his adventure to restore order to the world of the Gods, and she looks damn fine doing it. Oh, and since she bears Theseus's child in the epilogue, she doesn't stay a virgin for long.
68 | Dejah Thoris |
John Carter has been a troubled project, but we're still hyped for the sci-fi epic landing in 2012. One of many reasons is the presence of the lovely Lynn Collins as the Martian princess Deja Thoris. The gorgeous tattooed Thoris is a far cry from the typical Disney princess, and she fights alongside her Earth ally like a cornered tiger, chopping up Tharks and wreaking havoc. It's not often we meet a girl who can swing a sword with such aplomb, and we hope that we'll see more of her when the movie does well.
67 | Olivia Castle |
We had to pick a chick from last year's Final Destination 5, and for a Final Destination movie, you feature the girl who had the best kill. So here we are with Olivia Castle, the lovely brunette played by Jacqueline Macinnes Wood. When a group of friends narrowly avoid death in a perplexing accident (gee, where have I heard this one before?), they find themselves being picked off one by one by a mysterious force. So if this was happening to your peeps, wouldn't you avoid, say, laser eye surgery? Dear, sweet Olivia doesn't, and the end result is grisly indeed.
66 | Sam Shane |
Say what you will about the decision to turn board game Battleship into a movie, they couldn't have cast a hotter honey than model Brooklyn Decker to play Sam Shane, the flick's female lead. An ordinary physical therapist, when her fiancee's ship gets drawn into a battle against mysterious alien warships she must survive the barrage while still looking smoking hot. Can she do it? Of course she can, what are you, nuts? We're just glad they didn't cast her as a red peg.
65 | September Jones |
We love how the Death Race series gleefully embraces every stereotype about media corruption to spice up its meaty meals of car crashing action. Case in point: the hilarous character of September Jones, the former beauty queen turned TV hostess who was stripped of her tiara for boning all of the Miss Universe judges. She wants big ratings for her show and she's not afraid to go to insane lengths to get them. Played by Lauren Cohan, she's a gleefully evil villain that you're rooting for throughout the whole movie.
64 | Tamara |
Sure, Jason Momoa couldn't stack up to Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan, but 2011's Conan The Barbarian at least introduced a serious hottie to fight by his side. The bodacious Tamara is a pure-blood descendant of the sorcerors of Acheron - killing her will release the unholy powers in the Mask of Acheron and unleash all kinds of hell. Of course, she has a mighty defender in Conan, but at times it seems like it's not enough. Played by the amazingly hot Rachel Nichols, Tamara is the best kind of damsel in distress.
63 | Ivy Valentine |
With Soul Calibur V dropping, the time was right to revisit one of the series' most notorious sex symbols. Buxom white-haired Ivy Valentine is every fighting game player's fetish object - clad in an insanely revealing costume and wielding a sword that turns into a whip, she loves to dole out punishment on the rest of the cast. The new game has her in top form, unleashing insane special moves and tying up opponents only to drive a high-heeled boot into their face. Like a boss. Why even go to the character select screen?
62 | Chell |
One of the greatest video game protagonists of all time, Chell made a big comeback last year in Portal 2. Returned to the testing labs of Aperture Science many years after her first adventure, she must again face the malevolent artificial intelligence GLaDOS and the corrupted personality core Wheatley. Throughout all of the crap, Chell never says a word, just using her mind to unravel increasingly complicated spatial puzzles using her trusty portal gun. And at the end, it looks like she finally escapes for real.
61 | Wonder Woman |
DC's New 52 has had some hits and misses, but one of the winners is the latest interpretation of Wonder Woman. The most famous female in the comic book world has had plenty of ups and downs in her history, but her latest series has her on top of the game. Rebooted as the daughter of Hippolyta and Zeus, the new Wondy is a serious ass-kicker, wielding a panoply of weapons in addition to her trademark Lasso of Truth. It's easily our favorite interpretation of the character in a long time, and she's in for a great 2012.
60 | Carrie Mathison |
Showtime's Homeland is one of the best new shows of the year, and a good part of that is due to Carrie Mathison, its main character. As played by Clare Danes, she's probably one of the most unstable CIA agents ever put on film. After screwing up an assignment in the field, she becomes obsessed with making sure nothing ever goes awry on her watch again, and this leads her into some very unpleasant situations. Sure, she's bipolar and married to her job, but she's got great legs.
59 | Alice |
The Resident Evil movies are still chugging along, and the character of Alice - played by Milla Jovovich - is poised to learn more about her future in this year's Resident Evil: Retribution. When she's captured by the evil Umbrella Corporation, she wakes up inside their research facility and starts off on a quest to piece together the shattered fragments of her past, only to discover something that will shake her to the core of her existence. Oh, and she's probably going to shoot a bunch of zombies, too.
58 | Elsa Lichtmann |
I think we can agree that L.A. Noire was an ambitious failure - for everything Rockstar did right, they screwed something else up. But the stuff that was good was very, very good, especially the characterization and acting. Case in point: troubled cabaret singer Elsa Lichtmann. You first meet the chanteuse softly crooning from the stage of the Blue Room, but you soon discover that she has a jones for morphine and is wrapped up in some quite dirty dealings. A classic femme fatale, Elsa is one of the most important gears in the game's plot.
57 | Eve |
When rumors about Skyfall, the new James Bond flick, started indicating that we'd see a new Miss Moneypenny debuted, we got psyched at the concept of a female spy who could back Bond up on his missions. They turned out to be false, but Bond does get a field agent, the lovely Eve. From what we've seen, Eve is an agent of Her Majesty's Secret Service who doesn't understand what the big deal is about this 007 chap and sets out to show that she's just as good. That's a tall order, but a babe this hot might be able to pull it off.
56 | Megan Reed |
Deus Ex: Human Revolution was a great return of a favorite franchise. Hero Adam Jensen decided to hook up with a hottie with brains during the game in the form of Dr. Megan Reed. The head of neuro-scientific research at Sarif Industries, Megan is in charge of pushing cybernetic augmentations forward. After an attack by the Tyrants, she is missing and presumed dead, but Adam tracks her down at a research facility in Singapore where she is being forced to develop horrific new weaponry. At the game's end, we learn that she'll be one of the minds behind the mysterious D Project.
55 | Lady Jaye |
The first two G.I. Joe movies were loud, dumb disappointments. But the next sequel is written by the dudes behind Zombieland, so it might be a little bit better. When the Joe team is totally decimated by a sneak attack masterminded by Zartan, only a few survivors must pull it together and beat Cobra down once and for all. The female contingent is solidly represented by Lady Jaye, the covert ops specialist who made her debut in the classic cartoon series. On screen, she'll be played by Adrienne Palicki.
54 | River Song |
Usually the Doctor's female companions are a little perplexed by the time-hopping adventures they go on. Thankfully, the producers of Doctor Who decided to mix things up a bit when they introduced River Song. The archaeologist first met the Tenth Doctor and claimed that they would become close in the future, indicating that she too was a time traveler. In her second appearance she sacrificed her life to save a group of people trapped in a virtual world, but she's since turned up several more times from previous points in her timeline. I know it's confusing, but that's time travel for you.
53 | Leela |
Falling for a chick with one eye isn't something that happens often, but we're proud to put Turanga Leela from Futurama on this list of 2012's hotties. The cyclopean captain of the Planet Express delivery ship is actually a mutated being from the filthy sewers of Earth, but we won't hold that against her. She's easily the show's most capable character, as she bails out the other crewmembers on multiple occasions. And yes, she did bang Zapp Brannigan, but that was just a momentary lapse of reason.
52 | Kelly Bailey |
If you haven't been watching Misfits on Hulu, you're missing out on one of the best British imports since the Beatles. The show follows a group of juvenile offenders who get superpowers due to a freak storm, but don't think this is a Heroes rip-off - it's about a thousand times better. One of the biggest reasons is the show's characters, who are all unforgettable. Our current favorite is the chav girl Kelly, a pint-sized package of attitude with the brains of a rocket scientist (seriously, that's her power). We're well chuffed that she's signed on to come back for the next season.
51 | Sorceress |
Vanillaware's upcoming Dragon's Crown is shaping up to be an awesome tribute to Capcom's classic Dungeons & Dragons arcade games, but what really has people talking is the insane design of the female characters. Take the Sorceress here - she's got curves that go for miles and she's not scared of showing it. It's rare that we buy a video game just because we want to see some jiggle, but even if Dragon's Crown sucked across the board we'd pick it up just to see her jump animation over and over.
50 | Maggie |
You hyped for The Expendables 2? Us too. Almost the entire crew from the first movie is coming back to take another job, but this time they have a powerful opponent in rival mercenary Jean Vilain. And this time, they're adding a lady to the ranks. Played by Chinese actress Yu Nan, Maggie can keep up her end of the action, heading into Hong Kong with the crew on a mission of revenge. The first flick only had ladies serving as damsels in distress, but from what we've seen Maggie throws down with the guys like it ain't no thing. Let the ultraviolence begin!
49 | Irina Denali |
Forget Bella - the real hotness in Twilight: Breaking Dawn is the mega-foxy Irina Denali. One of the legendary Denali coven of vampires, she was a spiritual kin to the Cullens and practiced their lifestyle of not preying on humans. But she wasn't always so easy-going - in fact, the legendary myth of the succubus comes from Irina's practice of seducing men before she fed on them. Unfortunately, the worst is still to come in the second movie, when she sets the Volituri on Bella and Edward's child Reneesme. Ah well - at least she'll look good doing it.
48 | April Ludgate |
To work with a dude like Ron Swanson, you need to have tremendous strength of will. Or something. Case in point: April Ludgate, one of the many dedicated employees on Parks and Recreation. Starting out as an intern, April's incredibly dry wit quickly made her one of our favorite characters on the show, and she perfectly captures our essential goal of never caring about anything, ever. Interestingly enough, the role was written specifically for actress Aubrey Plaza, who so weirded out the show's producers that they created a character just for her. Guess what? It worked!
47 | Jem |
One of the most unexpected comebacks of last year was the return of Jem, the pink-haired pop singer of 80s cartoons, to the American airwaves. With re-runs showing daily on The Hub, a whole new generation has been exposed to the foxy chick who did crazy stage transformations before Lady Gaga was out of diapers. With rumors of a Jem reboot and even a live-action movie making the rounds, it's time to get aboard the hype train before it's too late. What are you, a Misfit?
46 | Alice Murphy |
The fantasy of banging your boss is one that just about every dude who has worked under a woman has indulged in, but no manager on TV has the ability to inspire a "fearection" as well as Alice Murphy on Comedy Central's hilarious Workaholics. The Senior Sales Manager at TelAmeriCorp has exactly zero time for hijinks from the boys, but you just know that there's a deep well of sexual tension boiling underneath her surface that's going to explode one day. And it's going to be very, very messy.
45 | Debra Morgan |
So Dexter threw a pretty big twist in its season finale, as the serial killer's sister Deb not only realized she might have romantic feelings for her (adopted) brother, but also walked in on him committing a murder. How will this change the show's precarious dynamic? Who knows, but we hope it will make Deb curse more, because that's one of the things we love about her. The foul-mouthed homicide detective is responsible for some of the show's most unforgettable lines, and whenever she opens up on someone it's a joy to watch. Considering that actress Jennifer Carpenter was briefly married in real life to her on-screen brother Michael C. Hall, this could get awkward.
44 | Sweet Dee |
Hanging out in a dingy Irish pub all day isn't particularly good for your sanity, as evidenced by the cast of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. The gang's lone female member is Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds, the main bartender at Paddy's. Afflicted by severe scoliosis as a child (which earned her the nickname "The Aluminum Monster"), Dee has an endless need for the approval of others, which makes itself known in idiotic YouTube videos and carrying a surrogate child for a transsexual. Our kind of girl.
43 | Ahsoka Tano |
Jedi come from all over the galaxy, but one of our favorite recent additions to the ranks is Ahsoka "Snips" Tano, the new padawan studying under Anakin Skywalker during the Clone Wars. Hailing from the planet of Shili, Ahsoka is a Togruta, a carnivorous race that resembles a humanoid tiger. She's been instrumental in some of the Republic's greatest victories, including rescuing the son of Jabba the Hutt to allow the fleet through Hutt space, as well as her performance in the Battle of Teth. She's reckless, wild, and a damn good Jedi.
42 | Lady Mary Crawley |
Yes, we watch PBS from time to time. And yes, we're addicted to Downton Abbey. It may seem ridiculous for dudes like us to be slavering over a Masterpiece Theatre production that takes place in an early 20th century English manor, but give it a chance - it's full of surprising amounts of nastiness. One of the best examples of the aristocracy comes in the form of Lady Mary Crawley, the eldest daughter of the family. After her future husband dies in the Titanic, the gorgeous Mary must figure out whether she wants to suffer through a marriage of convenience or become a spinster.
41 | Elena Fischer |
You have to be a pretty special woman to get wifed by Nathan Drake, and Elena Fischer is. The female lead of the three Uncharted games, Elena is a clever and perceptive woman who travels the world uncovering the truth behind a variety of historical mysteries. Of course, these investigations often end up going insanely awry, but Elena is no damsel in distress - she holds up her end of the fortune-hunting partnership just fine, often catching things that Nathan misses. She also tries to help him find non-violent solutions to problems, which is rare in the world of video games.
40 | Annie Edison |
If Community doesn't come back on the air, somebody's going to get hurt. How will I survive without my weekly dose of the wonderful Annie Edison? The eternally perky student at Greendale Community College is one of the show's best characters, a barely contained bundle of fun hiding a shameful past of prescription drug addiction. Played by the incredibly hot Alison Brie, Annie pulls of the tricky feat of being sexless and totally sexy at the same time - something few ladies can do. Bring this show back now, NBC!
39 | Lara Croft |
After many, many years of pretty lousy games, it was great to see Lara Croft come booming back. The heroine of the Tomb Raider franchise is more than just a pretty face and a pair of boomin' hoons - she's a world-class archaeologist and adventurer who can go toe-to-toe with criminal masterminds and wild tigers without breaking a sweat. 2012 is going to see a reboot of the whole franchise, and if Eidos has learned from what the last few games have taught us, we're going to fall in love with Lara all over again.
38 | Kitana |
Fighting games came back in a big way last year, with some of our favorite franchises dropping new installments. No game took players by surprise quite like Mortal Kombat, which transformed from a goofy oddity into a tournament-viable game. The series has always boasted some hotties, but the new game brought back Kitana in a big way. The warrior princess of Outworld uses bladed fans as her primary weapon, and has some nasty fan kill Fatalities that for some reason... only attract us more.
37 | Anya Stroud |
In the first two Gears Of War games, Anya Stroud stays behind the scenes, working out of the command center that dispatches Delta Squad and provides their intel as they battle the Locust horde. But by the third game, after the sinking of Jacinto, she's in the mood to get her hands dirty. As a field member of Delta Squad, Anya smashes alien scum with aplomb, distinguishing herself at the battle of Anvil Gate. And, in answer to the question of whether love can bloom on a battlefield, she provides comfort to Marcus Fenix after the death of his father Adam and partner Dom.
36 | Carol Ferris |
It's important as a superhero to have a ladyfriend who knows your secret. Trying to keep your caped activities under wraps can drive you crazy. One of the best things about last year's Green Lantern movie was how quickly Carol Ferris (played by the tantalizing Blake Lively) figured out that Hal Jordan was the mysterious ring-wielding crimefighter. Let's face it: Lois Lane was pretty dumb to get fooled by a pair of glasses for so long. Carol isn't just a girlfriend, though - she's a fearless test pilot and fights against the menace of Parallax alongside Hal.
35 | Maggie Mills |
As married dudes, the concept of actually getting a Hall Pass is a disturbing one. In last year's raunchy comedy, a pair of dudes get special dispensation for a week from their wives to try to bang other chicks. Needless to say, it turns out to be more difficult than it seems. But if we were married to Maggie Mills, played by the fetching Jenna Fischer, why would we want to stray? And, thankfully, her husband in the flick can't pull it off. Which is good, because most of the sex in this movie goes very, very wrong anyways.
34 | Sasha Ivanoff |
Platinum Games remains one of our favorite Japanese studios, and we're happy to hear that they're coming out with a spiritual successor to their insame Wii brawler Mad World in 2012. Titled Anarchy Reigns, it's an over-the-top gorefest featuring a number of playable characters. The foxiest by far is the fearsome Sasha Ivanoff, who hails from the frozen north of Russia and wields frozen blades that can stop opponents in her tracks. She's also voiced by Rose MacGowan, making her hot to listen to as well as look at.
33 | Selene |
Who would have suspected that the Underworld series could have lasted so long? The entertainingly trashy werewolves vs. vampires epic just dropped its fourth installment, and we're pleased to report that the lovely Selene, played by Kate Beckinsale, is back in full effect. When humans band together to purge the Earth of all of these creepy creatures, Selene is captured and spends over a decade frozen in a tube. When she's released, she unravels a plot by rogue Lycans to remove their traditional weakness to silver and rule the world. Obviously, that won't stand, and before long that black leather catsuit is wrecking faces all over the screen.
32 | Hermione Granger |
It's kind of crazy how we've all grown up a little bit with the Harry Potter characters. Crazy and awesome, as we've seen Hermione Granger blossom into a lovely flower of womanhood. Now that the movies have come to an end, we've seen the last of the plucky Miss Granger, and we're happy to hear that she would up in a happy marriage with Ron Weasley and raised two lovely children. As played by Emma Watson, Hermione is one of the best characters in the movies - incredibly smart and willing to do whatever it takes to protect her friends, no matter the cost.
31 | Carly Spencer |
With Megan Fox jumping ship on the Transformers franchise, we needed some new eye candy to look at in between giant robot fights. Enter Carly Spencer, played by the sultry Rosie Huntington-Whitely. As Sam Witwicky's new love interest, she believes his crazy tales about transforming robots because she has to live with two of them. But when she's taken hostage by a Decepticon collaborator, she develops a new affection for our Autobot saviors. She's also the one who talks Megatron into facing Sentinel Prime, which is quite a feat.
30 | Emma Frost |
In the world of the X-Men, it's more than common for villains to come over to the side of justice every so often. Hell, the team's greatest enemy, the malevolent Magneto, has spent more time as a hero in the last decade then a villain. But no transformation has been quite as shocking as that of Emma Frost. Formerly the wicked White Queen of the Hellfire Club, she came over to Xavier's group after the destruction of Genosha and has become a staple of the team, using her vast telepathic abilities plus the power to transform into living diamond. She still doesn't wear a lot of clothes, though.
29 | Meredith Vickers |
One of the movies we're most excited for in 2012 is Ridley Scott's Prometheus, a sci-fi epic about a spacecraft crew exploring a derelict ruin left behind by an ancient civilization. With as yet unexplained connections to Scott's classic Alien, what little bit of it we saw at Comic-Con blew us away. But the scene that has stuck in our mind the longest is the sight of Meredith Vickers, played by Charlize Theron, doing sweaty topless push-ups. Hell, the whole movie could just be that scene and we'd get our eleven dollars worth.
28 | Penny |
If there's one girl on the boob tube right now that epitomizes the geek's dream woman, it's Penny from The Big Bang Theory. Sure, she doesn't always get the references that Leonard and the crew drop, but she's game and willing to learn more about the inner world of the nerdosphere. As she's grown and developed as a character, we've discovered more about her hopes and dreams for the future, but one thing remains unexplored: the mystery of her last name. Who knows? Maybe you'll land her and it'll be your last name!
27 | Cataleya Restrepo |
Last year's Colombiana was a surprise action hit that seemingly came from out of nowhere. Zoe Saldana starred as Cataleya Restrepo, a young Colombian woman who sees her parents gunned down by drug lords and swears bitter, violent revenge. She flees to America and her uncle trains her as a hitwoman. Over the next fifteen years, she assembles an incredibly clever plot to catch the scum that murdered her parents and put him in the grave, and watching her carry it out is an absolute joy to behold.
26 | Gretel |
Okay, so the concept of 2012's Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters is pretty ludicrous, but you can't front on how hot the female lead looks. We have a thing for girls in black leather (you might have noticed), and Gemma Arterton fills out that outfit nicely. If you don't remeber the original fairy tale, it dealt with two siblings who were tricked into a witch's gingerbread house only to kill the crone and escape. Fifteen years later, they work for the government hunting and killing witches for vengeance. It looks like a ton of fun.
25 | Babydoll |
Why do we always go for the crazy ones? In Zack Snyder's balls-out Sucker Punch, the main character is a young woman nicknamed "Babydoll" who has been dumped into an insane asylum after being blamed for her younger sister's death. Once there, she is scheduled for a lobotomy, but before her noggin gets scooped she explodes into a wild fantasy world where she must team up with four other girls and kick ass through the liminal world of the subconscious to escape her horrible fate. This kind of girl is always wild in the sack, you know.
24 | Gwen Stacy |
One of the most interesting things about the upcoming Amazing Spider-Man reboot movie is the lack of Mary Jane Watson. Instead, this flick brings in one of Peter Parker's first girlfriends, the gorgeous Gwen Stacy. The daughter of a prominent lawyer, she came to a tragic end in the comic books when the Green Goblin threw her off a bridge and she fell to her death, but this new version (played by the cheeky Emma Stone) looks very much alive. The bits of banter we've seen between her and Peter Parker have been Stan Lee sharp, so we can't wait for the whole shebang.
23 | Sarah Kerrigan |
The self-styled Queen of Blades, Starcraft's Sarah Kerrigan isn't someone you'd want to run into in a dark alley. Or anywhere, really. Born a powerful psychic, she was trained by the Terran army as an assassin, but when she's captured by the Zerg and infested she transforms into a hybrid creature more devastating than anyone could imagine. Gifted with incredible power, she takes over control of the entire Zerg empire following the death of the Overmind, and in the upcoming Heart Of The Swarm we'll see how her story finally plays out.
22 | Pegasus |
Gillian Anderson, in our world, can do no wrong. So that's why we were so pleased to see her return to her spy-world roots in Johnny English Reborn, where she plays the lovely Agent Pegasus. In this British espionage spoof, Rowan Atkinson is the titular goof who stumbles his way through an international conspiracy, and Pegasus is the head of MI7 trying to keep a lid on the situation. There's not much hotter than a woman in power, especially if she fills out a suit as well as Pegasus does.
21 | Elizabeth |
The BioShock series has always had a sort of strange relationship with women, from the Little Sisters that you could harvest for their Adam to the insane Dr. Sofia Lamb. But the third installment in the series, which moves us out of Rapture to the floating-air city of Columbia in the 1920s, partners you up with a very strange young lady indeed. Elizabeth is gifted with the power to open rifts in the space-time continuum, letting in influences from alternate realities both past and future. This leads to some pretty crazy shenanigans that we can't wait to play through.
20 | Valentine |
Upcoming all-female fighting game Skullgirls has the hardcore community frothing hard - it's a game made for serious players, with tons of techniques and options coupled with an attractive hand-drawn art style. It was tough to choose just one of the game's warriors for this feature, but eventually we settled on the ninja nurse Valentine, a buxom battler who brawls with scalpels, bonesaws and even corpses. Her moves are totally insane, and we can't wait to get our hands on her.
19 | Juliet Starling |
Goichi Suda, the man behind cult classics Killer 7 and No More Heroes, is a dude who knows how to craft memorable characters. So when we heard that 2012 will see his first game with a female protagonist, we pre-ordered immediately. Lollipop Chainsaw stars a Miss Juliet Starling, a power tool-toting badass babe who returns to her old high school to battle hordes of zombies, accompanied by the severed head of her ex-boyfriend. Short skirts, sweet moves and lots of gore: our dream girl. A movie written by Internet fave James Gunn is also in development.
18 | Catwoman |
Selina Kyle has had quite a year - when DC's New 52 rebooted, her on-again, off-again sexual relationship with Batman was turned very on again, as the debut issue of her new series had her banging the Bat on a rooftop, costumes on. In addition to her comic, she's set to play a big part in The Dark Knight Rises, as the gorgeous Anne Hathaway will be the woman inside the leather catsuit. She also featured heavily in last year's videogame smash Arkham City. After the dire Halle Berry movie, Catwoman deserves a big comeback, and we'll be watching every step of the way.
17 | Moira O'Hara |
Never before had we even considered banging a ghost, but then the buxom Moira O'Hara from American Horror Story came along and we were shook to our sexual cores. FX's smash hit series introduced us to the fiery redheaded housekeeper, but there was something a little odd about her. To women, she appears as an old woman, but to dudes she's the hot piece of service we know and love. She was one of the few helpful ghosts in the Harmon house, and at the end of the season worked to prevent any others from falling victim to its spell.
16 | Triss Merrigold |
The Witcher series has always been about foxy dames - hell, the first game even had trading cards you could win by bedding the many vixens you encountered throughout the land - and last year's sequel kept up the tradition. The character of Triss Merrigold, however, was more than just a booty call. The powerful sorceress accompanies Geralt through the early part of his adventure, but when she's kidnapped it quite naturally gets his dander up. Unfortunately, the game's climax forces you to make a very tough choice as to whether she lives or dies, which is just plain unfair.
15 | Katniss Everdeen |
If you've been living in a hole, The Hunger Games is the next big thing in the post-Harry Potter, end of-Twilight world. Based on a novel by Suzanne Collins, it tells the tale of twenty-four teenagers who are forced to compete in a battle to the death, with one survivor being given enough material goods to lift them out of poverty forever. Set in a terrifying future dystopia, the movie's heroine is one Katniss Everdeen, who not only triumphs in the Games but also fights the system. This is a young one who knows the ways of the sword, my friends, and the movie is going to be awesome.
14 | Daenerys Targaryen |
Oh, Game Of Thrones. Will we ever get tired of you? Somehow I doubt it. One of the most awesome characters in the series is Daenerys Targaryen, the bride of Khal Drogo and the last living member of the Targaryen dynasty. We're talking about a woman who eats a raw horse's heart to show how much of a badass her unborn son is going to be, and once the whelp comes out she starts laying the smack down, culminating in killing her husband and burning his body on a giant pyre that hatches some baby dragons. Can't wait to see what she gets up to next season.
13 | Quinn Fabray |
Yes, Glee has pretty much gone completely off the rails, but that happens to every TV show. At least we still have the awesome Quinn Fabray to keep us watching. The cheerleader is responsible for some of the show's best lines, as her brain seems to operate at a permanently detached angle from reality. The big changes that happened to Quinn in the third season - dyed hair, a nose ring and no more glee club - took us by surprise, but thankfully proved to be short-lived. With graduation coming and our favorite head cheerleader shooting for Yale, we might not have much more time with her.
12 | Lydia |
Can you believe that before Skyrim dropped last year, not a one of us knew what a housecarl was? And now we can barely go a day without using the word. In Bethesda's epic, Jarl Balgruuf the Greater assigns her to your servitude after you're given the Thane title. The first housecarl you recieve, Lydia is sworn to protect you and carry your burdens (like a pack mule) until death. Unfortunately, she's pretty easy to kill, so don't push your luck. She is a competent fighter and bowperson, though, so she can be helpful in your adventures.
11 | Lana Kane |
Archer continues to be one of the best shows on TV, with each episode trumping the last. It doesn't hurt that we're graced with the presence of the lovely Lana Kane, ISIS's best agent. She was brought into the organization when she refused to back down during an anti-fur protest when Malory Archer pointed a gun at her head, and her nerves of steel and quick mind have helped her out of a number of jams. Sure, her choices in romantic partners aren't the best (she fantasizes about Webster's Alex Karras, for God's sake), but that's a plus in our book. It means we have a chance.
Who did AskMen.com pick for their #11 pick in the Top 99 Women 2012 Edition?
10 | Joan Harris |
It is almost impossible for us to refer to Mad Men's Joan Harris by her married name. She'll always be Ms. Holloway to us, no matter what her husband thinks. The bodacious redhead has been one of the best reasons to watch AMC's hit show since the first season, and as she's developed as a well-rounded character (no pun intended) new facets of her personality have emerged that make her all the more attractive. Joan is the secret gear turning at the heart of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, and her promotion to Director of Agency Operations last season reflects that.
9 | Miranda Lawson |
Yes, the brains at BioWare have confirmed that if you didn't get Miranda killed in Mass Effect 2, she'll be back in the next game in 2012, Easily the hottest member of the Normandy's crew, Miranda is actually a high-ranking Cerebus member who has been genetically engineered to operate at peak human efficiency. The sultry brunette is Shepard's second in command, and if you're anything like us you pursued the romance option with her doggedly in the last game.
8 | Jill Valentine |
One of the leading female characters of the Resident Evil franchise, Jill Valentine has come a long way since she was declared the "master of unlocking." The STARS agent has faced off against all kinds of disgusting monsters and survived, so you know she'd have your back in a firefight. Since the upcoming Resident Evil Revelations takes place before the events of the previous game, it's very possible we'll get to see some more Jill action. Let's just hope she can stay away from that scumbag Wesker.
7 | Jessica Day |
Don't ask us what we'd do for a girl like Jessica Day, as played by Zooey Deschanel on Fox's New Girl. The delightfully nerdy protagonist moves in with three guys and proceeds to flip their lives upside down with her ridiculous shenanigans. We weren't sold on Jess until the "Bad In Bed" episode, where she finally put the moves on co-worker Paul in one of the most ludicrous sex scenes ever aired on television. If a girl can make us laugh, she's one step closer to having our pants off. Oh, who are we kidding - our pants are always off.
6 | Black Widow |
Avengers, man. Avengers. We're so hyped that it's not even funny. And lest you think that it's just going to be a bunch of dudes in their long underwear hitting each other, rest assured that the Black Widow is going to make things easy on the eyes. We first saw the lovely Natasha Romanova in Iron Man 2, played by Scarlett Johansson, and she's coming back for the big team-up. And even though she's the only girl on the team, she throws down with the rest of them. We can't wait.
5 | Nikita |
French spy film La Femme Nikita has spawned many a spin-off, but the one currently airing on the CW has caught our interest. The titular agent, played by the gorgeous Maggie Q, escapes from the auspices of the Division and tries to bring her former employers down. She assaults them from many angles, placing a mole inside the group and interfering with their operations. Nikita is a steel-spined agent of vengeance who kills without compunction and looks good doing it.
4 | Jenny MacArthur |
Fantasy football can bring out the worst in people, and no show depicts that as well as The League. But the activity is traditionally a dude one, which makes it all the better that the lovely Jenny MacArthur is just as driven to see her team win as the boys. The long-suffering wife of Kevin, Jenny was given her own slot in the League during the show's second season and made it all the way to the Shiva Bowl. Her hilariously foul mouth is one of the best things about the show, but she's a peach to look at as well.
3 | Shaundi |
So what did you choose to do at the end of Saints Row The Third? If you chose to let Shaundi die and go after Killbane, you're a sterner man than I. I just couldn't let the most loyal member of my posse die in a horrific explosion, so I let the Luchadore leader escape, knowing full well I could hunt him down and kill him later. With the death of Johnny Gat, Shaundi is the longest-lived member of the Saints, and she'd better be back in the next installment or we'll be very angry.
2 | Gloria Pritchett |
Man, Ed O'Neill is the luckiest man alive. How else can you explain his casting on Modern Family with such a smoking hot wife? Played by the toothsome Sofia Vergara, Gloria Pritchett is one of the show's most consistent comedic performers, with her entertainingly mangled English leading to tons of laughs. Formerly Gloria Delgado, the lovely Colombian native was married once before, producing her son Manny, but left the cartel-riddled crimeworld of Colombia for a new life in the United States with a crusty old man. Ahh, romance.
1 | Tara Knowles |
This one was a tough call, but the last season of Sons of Anarchy really saw Tara come into her own as a bad-ass biker mama. After having her hand injured in a botched kidnapping and murder attempt orchestrated by Clay, Tara realized that she's never going to be able to be a suburban Mom, no matter where her and Jax go. So she embraced the dark side, giving in to the power of being the club leader's woman, and we can't wait to see where this journey will take her in 2012.